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Blog for April

Posted on 11 May, 2022 at 8:20

Ok pop-pickers, so where has Ted been this month?


How about Alicante, Messina (Sicily), Athens, Santorini, Katakolo, Corfu and Gibraltar?


Yes, it was time for a little R&R with my commanding officer (otherwise known as my good lady wife and best friend Joanne). On this adventure we went cruising round the Med and Greek islands


We really like this type of holiday as it requires minimum effort and we get to visit places we never had the opportunity to while our kids were younger and our parents were in their declining years.


We also like the idea that all you need do is bring your suitcase to the ship (car parking is taken care of) and then you are in a floating hotel. Very often long restful days at sea and different ports in different countries. As Pa Larkin would say “Perfick”.


Sometimes we sign up for a tour at the places we visit, and I strongly recommend doing this through the cruise line and not getting a “good deal” locally, because if you are late back to the ship with an independent operator, the ship can leave without you. Whereas if its organised by the cruise line you are their responsibility.


As I meander through life, very often humorous memories or asides will often pop into my mind. I have never done drugs and I don’t even smoke cigarettes any more. A pint of lager is usually more than enough to calm me down and make me relaxed.


If you need to drink beer and shorts and smoke shit and pop pills all at the same time to get that “High” you are nothing less than a selfish, greedy, worthless, tosser in my humble opinion and I hope you OD sooner rather than later.


But I understand that people who popped LSD are liable to have flashbacks of twenty years or more. Shit, just imagine that! You’re climbing up a 200 metre high ladder to a wind turbine and suddenly you’re walking into a disco in 1979 to the sounds of “Boogie Wonderland” Holy moley, where’s my flares?

You’re humming it now aren’t you?


I’ve mentioned dreams before in my blog, a few years ago I woke up on a summer’s morning with sun streaming through the blinds of our bedroom window and for some reason or other I was convinced it was 1973, and everything that had happened after that was just a dream.


Can you imagine how I felt? I was like Scrooge “Jesus H Christ, thank God for that. I’ve now got the chance to do it all again.”


Funny thing was, even in my befuddled state, I still started to think “well hold on, perhaps I had to go through some of those really painful things for a reason. So do I really want to change those parts? It wasn’t long before my mind started to clear and I realised I was back in good old 2019.


But for a while, I had the chance to change my story and chose not to, what a schmuck! But an honest Schmuck.


And I was a prize shmuck as well. I would do silly things like finish with a great girl cos I was going out with my mates and didn’t want to two-time her if I had a teenage encounter. Most of my mates did, and still retained their “Best Girl”, as quoted by the Beach Boys.


Been naive, and also never able to take a hint has meant Ted missing out a quite few opportunities of all sorts in the past but hi ho, my conscience is mostly clear.


But to be quite honest, I think that too many expectations are placed on young people to leave school, get a job, get married, have kids etc. It’s a confusing time when hormones are boiling and is fraught with danger if too much, too soon, is taken on. Marriage is a very serious obligation and people should think about the effect on children before doing what they think society or their peers demand of them.


I have mentioned before in my blog about my friend Gerry, a fellow lecturer at Oxford College. Gerry was an Afrikaner (Dutch South African) and a great bloke who certainly believed in calling a spade a spade. Gerry served in the South African army and can tell you what that country is really like. You may notice the media is very quiet on this part of the world despite at least 20 whites a day been butchered by blacks, as this does not fit their narrative. Remember Wynnie Mandaella soaking opponents in petrol and setting fire to them? “I believe in a Rainbow Nation” says Nelson. Yeah right, a rainbow singed around the edges.


However, Gerry was let down badly by his wife and had to sell his house and move to another part of the world to avoid bankruptcy. I was so sad to see him leave but Gerry had a good heart and always maintained that everything we did throughout life and everyone we met was for a reason, and I wholeheartedly agree with him. Even the lowest crap times are for some reason, don’t ask me why cos I sometimes think that even God needs a kick in the bollocks to learn a lesson.


I had another humorous aside pop into my mind the other day: Did they ever make an version of “The Italian Job” dubbed into Italian? I’m sure they did, but I bet all the British parts had really weedy voices, where the Italian guys were very macho. If anyone can corroborate or knows any different please drop me a line.


Talking of humorous, a woman we know will very nearly always send a steak back to the kitchen in a restaurant for some reason or other. I think she does this to appear to be “one up” or sophisticated. Well, she may think she is sophisticated, but…


I can also tell you NOT to do this. EVER.


If the steak, or anything, is not to your liking just take it on the chin. DO NOT SEND IT BACK TO THE KITCHEN. If it is inedible, just settle up your bill (the restaurant will not want to make a scene) and move on.


If you do send it back, it is highly likely to be spat on and kicked around the kitchen floor. If you send anything back to the kitchen you are not sophisticated, but a gormless fool who is unaware of the ways of the world and people that are paid very little for restaurant work. Now I know it shouldn’t be like that but it is. You don’t have to take my advice.


Now as my blog is supposed to have an electrical theme, here is where we plunge in to a little bit of science.


For the electrically minded , resistance a funny thing. The very word resistance indicates that we are talking about how poor a conductor is: how much “Resistance” a material presents to the flow of current.


You may recall that the unit of resistance is called the “Ohm” after George Simon Ohm, a German physicist. You might also recall we use the Greek Omega symbol “Ω” to denote resistance. For Electricians of course this is an everyday unit that we use and are concerned with. Especially Earth Loop Impedance, which is the earth fault path back to the nearest sub-station.


However, most sparkies may not be aware of it but there is an alternative to resistance.


It is not used very often as it is counter to what we are accustomed to but we could use “Conductance” as an alternative, only this time taking how good a conductor is as a baseline.


And some industries do just that, but to be honest, not many. One that immediately comes to mind is the water purification guys. They measure purity of water by how good a conductor it is. The base units of conductance they use are “Siemens” (not Semens, please pull yourself together) and interestingly, they also use “Mhos” (an anagram of Ohms). Wow, this is getting like the Dan Brown of Electrical Engineering!


In April we had my son’s birthday and my daughter’s is in May, they are both born under the sign of Taurus the bull and funnily enough, very strong-willed to say the least.


Dunno if I believe in that Zodiac mumbo-jumbo too much but as a sign of the crab I can certainly identify with the idea of scuttling under a rock when it all gets a bit too much.


My favourite cousin Deborah was born in May and somebody else who I much admired but has not replied to me was also born in May.


Oh well, time to saddle up.


Happy trails folks, and remember to keep your six-shooter clean, well-oiled and ready for action.


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