My Blog


Blog for January 22

Posted on 5 February, 2022 at 0:20

Blog for January


Ok folks, eyes down and look in, time to sit back with a cup of something and take five minutes out with my blog.


I don’t know about you but most normal, working class people are sick to the teeth of hearing about parties at Downing Street. The only people that are interested is an anti-establishment media class (indoctrinated at Uni) trying to bring down a government. And that’s the best they can throw at it? Office parties in different departments through a time that was confusing to everyone – big fecking deal.


Boris Johnson has had Covid himself, steered us through Brexit and had to deal with a pandemic that nobody has had to face before, and look how the media support him? I think we ought to go out on our doorsteps at 7 o’clock every Tuesday evening and blow a raspberry to show what normal people think of a warped media.


Better still, lets have a referendum to see if we support continuing or scrapping the licence fee? Wake up media, get on the side of normal people (EG the majority of the voting population) or your days are numbered. I have now deleted BBC and Sky news from my favourite lists and have switched to GB News for more unbiased reporting.


So, where has Teddy Barrett been this month? well let’s have a look back and see: Nutfield, Braintree (x2), Sudbury, Bournemouth and Camberley.


We also had Burns Night at my club in Woodstock in January and that is at least one highlight in this otherwise grotty time of year (I am rather fond of “Haggis, Neeps and Tatties”;).


I remember there was a group called “Pilot” that had a hit record during the Seventies called “January”. Here is an extract from the lyrics:


“January, Sick and tired you've been hanging on me

You make me sad with your eyes

You're telling me lies

Don't go

Don't go…”


This record always had a certain resonance with me as that is exactly how I always felt about bloody January… and February… and sodding March now I come to think of it. Cold, Wet and pissing miserable. By the time we get to April I shall be busting a gut for a ray of sunshine.

I might actually buck up courage to read “Don Quixote” to pass the doldrums away.


Have all you sparkies remembered to change the batteries in your test equipment? I was tempted to give it a miss but common sense prevailed, and good job too as a few were starting to leak. So a quick clean up and a squirt of WD40 probably saved me a couple of hundred quid, let alone equipment failure just when it’s needed.


Disappointed to say that my experiments with time-travel have failed again. It would appear that the energy created by a Chinese washing machine motor rigged up to an old Raleigh runabout moped was not quite enough to give the jolt necessary to traverse the space-time continuum.


Nuclear physicists reckon that time travel, or spatial displacement (like a Stargate) might just be possible using a “Singularity”. Ok, so what is a Singularity? Well it’s the release of a large amount of energy. Such as a “Black Hole” or when a sun collapses. Alternatively, and on a much smaller scale, being at Ground Zero during an atomic bomb detonation might, just might, provide a gap to travel through the fabric of space-time.


So until I get hold of an atomic device small enough to strap to our lawn-mower, oh and find a willing test pilot, my adventures in time travel are somewhat limited.


Talking of lawn mowers, I made a big push to clear up all those oak leaves in our garden. Have you ever tried burning oak leaves? They will not burn, they will not mulch down. Try burying them? Fine, dig them up next year exactly as you buried them.


The only option we have is to take them to the council tip. So I then had to transport 13 large sacks of oak leaves to the dump…and face interrogation at the gate by the camp commandant in High-Vis.


If the councils want to be seen to be “Green” why is it so difficult to dump stuff? If you take a porcelain sink or loo to the dump they charge you something like £5 a go! And as for taking plasterboard! I would advise you to seek an audience with the pope first to ensure all the correct documentation and blessings are in place.


A few years ago our local authority set up cameras at the gates to the dump to catch all the naughty people who left their Christmas wrappings etc when the dump was closed over the holiday! Seriously? So you’re going to fine all those people who took time out to try to do the right thing but you’re not open cos you didn’t want to pay overtime or couldn’t plan your way out of a paper bag?


Words fail me as to how these people think, they obviously come from a privileged background as they have not one iota of common sense.


I would never promote it, but you can understand why people do fly-tip.


I’m very sorry to report that my cousin Ken passed away this month. Ken was a lovable rogue, cracking jokes to the end. He certainly had a chequered life and although I might not always have agreed with him I couldn’t help but like him. RIP Ken Barrett, it can’t be denied that your loss has left a gap that will not be filled.


My other gripe of the month is that excuse for a pie that they give you in restaurants. Really, the contents of the pie in a ramakin with a pastry lid on top! Come on, that’s crap. Its just an excuse to pre-manufacture the meal. I’d also like to know how the hell you are meant to eat it? You can’t empty it out onto your plate cos the ramakin is red hot, are you supposed to convey your vegetables into the ramakin after you have removed the crust? Should you take a bite of vegetables followed by a quick scoop of pie-filling to the mouth? My gast is flabbered. I’ll be quite honest, I would rather have a Fray-Bentos pie in a tin.


I know how Rick Stein would deal with eating that in a restaurant – he’d have a quick sniff of the pie followed by three large glasses of wine.


Writing my blog is a bit like keeping a diary, which I’ve never been able to do, I don’t know how long I shall keep it going but perhaps it might be interesting to look back on in the future.


Happy trails folks.


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