So where has Ted been this Month?

Well, caught Covid so that put the hat on any travels for Mrs Barrett’s boy for a while.

Changing tack for a mo’ Rick Stein is an old TV favourite of mine, I can’t say I’m a fan of all the dishes he presents but I like his style as he is neither arrogant or rude (unlike many other TV Cooks). I’m also interested in the places that he visits and the people he meets along the way. I just wish that occasionally when tasting something he would say “that’s not quite to my taste” or some other way of saying “that’s bleeding awful”. After all you don’t want to be rude and he is a great diplomat for UK PLC.

However, you have probably noticed that he very rarely has a meal without a glass of wine. In fact, I reckon he does more wine drinking than eating, that’s probably why everything tastes lovely.

I would have liked to have seen Rick and Keith Floyd having lunch together, they probably would have crawled out of the restaurant on all fours.

Talking of characters, film-making is just about at the point where any character from history we have photographs of can be scanned and made into a “Digital Actor”. Obviously, the more photos and from different angles can help, and if we have moving film or video so much the better so mannerisms can be built in. Just imagine, the possibilities are endless, we could put Humphry Bogart into an Indiana Jones adventure (along with Peter Laurie) or cast Laurel and Hardy into Ghostbusters V! Most of all, what I would love to see is the continuation of the “Road” films with Bing Crosby and Bob Hope. I wouldn’t want to just completely recreate those films but I do think the Juxtaposition between modern actors and their digital counterparts would be fascinating.

Now we are three-quarters of 2021 over, and provided the Ecos haven’t formed themselves into death squads annihilating all the “Deniers” we shall be entering what our colonial cousins quaintly call “Fall” (to Brits “Autumn” but I actually prefer “Fall”;).

My regular readers will know that I hate the bloody cold and rain, having spent a childhood with holes in my shoes and been alternatively soaked to the skin or frozen to death the advent of Winter really does not appeal to me. However, I do love to see the trees change colour to those golden browns and love those crisp November mornings in the run up to Christmas. What happens after Christmas I shall deal with in a later blog.

I see that some brave engineers have managed to poke their heads above the parapet and say “Um, excuse me, but Hydrogen might be a better alternative fuel than mining a limited amount of Lithium and other rare minerals!” Oh dear, that sounds like heresy to me, especially if you’re an Eco who’s daddy is a major shareholder in wind-farms and lithium mining.

When the majority of people have been converted over to all electric what do you think will happen to the price of electricity? “We need to conserve this precious commodity, therefore we need to raise the price”.

If you’ve bought an EV because it only cost 24p a night to recharge it I would say buy a small generator before big brother bans their sale and the cost of electricity goes through the roof.

During times of war and when rationing was prevalent in the UK it always brought about a black market in goods such as “Nylons” and Petrol etc. Even my dad used to sell petrol to coppers on the QT.

So imagine the scene in some eco-utopian future: A windswept Yorkshire Moors on a moonless night. You are waiting at the pre-arranged meeting place. Its cold, wet and bleak. You get out of your EV and stamp your feet to try to get some blood flowing. Suddenly you catch sight of some faint lights heading towards you. You dare not flash your lights in response, as current religious practice forbids wasteful use of electricity.

A vehicle appears out of the mist and stops in front of you, the occupant steps out:

Occupant: Hail in the name of Eco and Multi-Wotsitism.

You: Yes, Umm yes Hail and multi-Wotsits

Occupant: Do you seek that which is naughty

You: Yes, Yes I suppose I do

Occupant: How naughty are you prepared to go?

You: I’ve got Nineteen Million Greta units

Occupant: Ok, Hook up your vehicle, I can give you 1 kilowatt of charge.

You: Just 1 kilowatt?

Occupant: Come on guy, make up your mind. I got a punter waiting for 2 AA cells in Bradford.

I sincerely hope I’m living in Spain or somewhere sensible before this moronic world comes to pass.

The alternative of course is that somebody takes my ramblings and turns them into a script for a TV comedy warning of what the future may hold unless we come to our senses. Hold on a minute though, they could make a digital actor to play my part in the film of my life story. I hope they get my best side.

Current brain-washing still seems to revolve around so-called climate change, my first challenge to that is “how long have we been keeping records?” my second point is “do you expect the climate of any planet to remain unchanged over millennia” if so you need to take a look at Colorado. My third point is that I come from a generation than survived potential world domination by two evil regimes and don’t feel the need to find a scary bed-time story right now.

I am more worried about Iran seeking to build an atomic bomb “we only seek atomic power for peaceful purposes” Yes, and my coc#s a kipper. But that would probably be construed as some sort of “ist” or “ism”.

Adios for now mi amigos and amigas.

Happy trails folks.